chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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