there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
