I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
accomplished twins. life is a go
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
