hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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