whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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