I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
