is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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