You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
