Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
