Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
