drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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