After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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