I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
