Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
