Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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