I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
