Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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