Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
