Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
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