I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
