I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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