would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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