I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
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We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
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