Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
