proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
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