CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
is it fun? or sober?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
