Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize