I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
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you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
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sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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