Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize