Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
