So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
