Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Randomize
