i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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