ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
