Kareoke will never be a sober sport
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Randomize