I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
