if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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