This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
third nipple confirmed
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Ladies don't puke and tell
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
