is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
