just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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