i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
