Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
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Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
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We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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