Where did you get a picture of my penis
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
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