Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
