i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Randomize
