Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
So much rum. So many feels.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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