Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Sorry my hands just texted you
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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