i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
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