Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
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