I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Life is so much better after having sex.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
