i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
