I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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