wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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