So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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