so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Can you bring me the toilet please
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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