Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
The air was thick with penises
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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