all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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