They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize