Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
