ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
