have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
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