If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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