just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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