I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
