i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
