he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
