with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
How does one acquire holy water?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
He has the fingertips of a God
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